Trusting Yourself is What Truly Matters: Linda’s Journey Toward Self-Awareness and Cybersecurity
Transitioning to another country is never a simple task. Diasporans experience the excitement and promise of a new beginning, while at the same time dealing with the challenges and frustrations that come with learning a new culture. Linda shares her story with Mukurima Muriuki on how she overcame many obstacles in America on her way to becoming a Cyber Security consultant — making her own dream a reality!
Initially, Linda wanted to attend law school:
“Those who know me, know I have had my fair share of overcoming obstacles in this country. I knew I wanted to be either civil rights or a general counsel within the corporate space. Everything changed when I had my daughter,” she explained.
Although she understood how she could attend law school and still care for her child, she also knew that she didn’t have the luxury of being unemployed as well as incurring more debt. After seriously contemplating her options, she decided to transition to the area of cybersecurity compliance and policy. It was with much trepidation that she chose to pursue this path; however, it aligned perfectly with her goals. In January of 2022, she began researching graduate schools and applied to the George Washington University School of Applied Science and Engineering. In October 2022, she moved from Accounting/Finance to a new role in Cybersecurity Consulting and is in the final months of her second semester.
Personal growth is a worthy goal, and Linda says that she is learning to trust in her own instincts.
“When I first arrived, I wanted to study law and technology. I was discouraged by many. They said my accent would be a problem. I refused to study nursing, so I was advised to study pharmacy. I was a decent science student, so I said, “why not?” As time passed, I hated the path to the pharmacy and knew this was not for me. I found myself back on my original path. Two and half years ago,I transitioned to Fintech and fell in love. As I started my cybersecurity career, I am reminded of how critical it is to listen and trust yourself,” she remarked.
Linda has come full circle and understands that sometimes people take a detour, a wrong turn, or they change their mind. However, she encourages her fellow Diasporans to make decisions that are best for themselves and not because of other’s advice. Her biggest regret is that she doubted her own instincts.
Another aspect to her personal growth is learning how to deal with conflict — a skill that everyone needs in order to succeed. She explained,
“Usually, I speak up. I will address the situation and try to understand the other person’s position. I tend to think not all conflict is bad. Conflict can strengthen how we relate to others. Sometimes depending on the nature of the conflict, I will let things be and walk away.”
Although her friends would describe her as being candid, she definitely feels that conflict resolution is an area in which she can improve.
“Despite the fact that I am outspoken online, in person, I am very much introverted. I only speak when around people I am very comfortable or familiar with. I very much enjoy my own company. Some of my friends joke about how they need to give me a month’s notice to prepare me for social events. I thrive in small intimate circles. I dislike big crowds. I can be shy.” she said.
Linda is proud of her successes, but reminds us that life also brings sorrow. Her maternal grandmother died when she was only sixteen years old. Her death was very impactful since Linda grew up under her grandparent’s tutelage. After being in a coma for several months, Linda knew that there was a real possibility that death was imminent. She explained that this truly “rocked her world” because she somehow thought her grandmother would recover.
Where there is sorrow, there is also joy —- this joy came in the form of a beautiful baby girl. Linda cannot say enough about her daughter, and believes it would take an entire podcast for her to describe the positive life-changing effects of her birth.
America is the “land of opportunity,” but there are some aspects of it that are troubling to Linda. The idea of individualism disturbs her. She clarified:
“There is something deeply embedded in American culture about how everything starts and ends with you. YOU come first. YOU matter more than anyone. Your success and failures are solely determined by YOU. The truth is nothing we do or who we are; it is a result of 100% individual efforts. There is value in the community. Being community-minded means we care about and are invested in the social wellness of everyone. Because as much as we like to think individuality is progressive….it is not. We are direct products of our social environments. A healthy and functional community means healthy and functional individuals.”
Another characteristic of American culture that bothers Linda is the “hustle culture”. She explained,
“Hustle culture is the culture that glorifies being busy. Yes, I know we have to do certain things to live and survive, but the idea that we have to constantly be looking forward to more money, more prominent titles, and bigger walls to climb can be destructive if not done well. I believe there are better ways to seek “growth” without losing yourself in all of the chaos; this starts by redefining what success means and also being content.
The constant grind is not only costing us our family bonds, but it leads to burn-out which has serious health implications. It's all wild to me because we somehow think desiring rest means you are lazy; people who just want enough and are not excessive are also perceived to be lazy and to lack ambition.”
If you live long enough, you will have the unfortunate experience of feeling betrayed by someone you trust. Learning through these events is what makes one wise. Linda explained that she has been betrayed several times, but has learned the following invaluable lessons:
“Trust is a complex issue. Continue to trust yourself, trust others, and trust wisely.
Sometimes, you may be a victim of betrayal but not innocent.
Assess the situation objectively.
Remember your feelings are always valid but how you process the incident,and the stories you tell yourself about the betrayal are not always true.
Pause and reflect before responding.
Time does not heal. You need the proper tools.”
Being in America does not mean that she isnt knowledgeable of Kenyan news. Linda makes a habit of reading local Kenyan literature, and talking to people who are in the socio-political arena. She also joins organizations that are involved in Kenyan current affairs.
Currently, Linda is living in Dallas, Texas and loves its strong economy, its artistic flair, food, and culture. Other aspects of the Lone Star state that she enjoys are the cost of living, a robust Kenyan community, and its friendly homeschool laws. She is fortunate in that both her immediate and extended family live nearby. The fact that Texas doesn’t have state income tax is also a huge plus. In her downtime, she enjoys listening to Bane, by Oliver N’Goma.
Parents sometimes worry about their children, and Linda is no exception. She explained that her biggest worry was about traumatizing her child.
“We currently live in a world that has become hyper-aware of trauma and its implications. Now do not get me wrong….I do not believe it's 100% possible to raise a child without trauma. Life itself can be traumatic. What I mean is…well-meaning decisions that I made for her and myself that might have a negative impact. OR not equipping her with the proper tools to go through life’s adversities.
This is why I hope and pray to be open-minded and conscious as I get older so I can meet her in the middle and hear her concerns so we can work through them together and not just focus on how Her generation is terrible, or how I am always right and her also know that not everything about the older generation is bad or wrong simply because culture has evolved.”
At times she also worries about her daughter not having the community-centered life that she experienced as a child. “Times are different and I live in a different country with different social norms. As someone who firmly believes in the concept of a good and safe village, I believe we are losing that — especially those of us who reside in the West. Individualism reigns here and it's hard to have those types of villages. I worry about how many of us do not have the tools to have constructive multi-generational communication and ways of relating.”
Linda is an excellent example of a Kenyan woman who is self-aware and working hard to achieve her dreams in the Diaspora. With her work ethic and caring attitude, she is not only a role model for her daughter, but also for the many daughters from her homeland.
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