Will Smith’s Lack of Self-Control is NOT a Commentary on All Black Men.
By Washington Osiro
Predictably, the “Slap Seen Around the World” has now morphed into a commentary on the “inability” of black men to control their temper and in the words of Dr. Jerome Adams, “get along.”
In an op-ed piece in USA Today, Adams, a former Surgeon-General under President Donald Trump wrote that it upset him “as a Black man…..to see Black men go after one another for any reason.” Even the erudite and thoughtful Kareem Abdul Jabbar offered that the televised assault was a “blow to men, women, the entertainment industry and the Black community.”
These are very interesting observations which also beg a host of questions including the following:
Would Jerome Adams be as upset if it was a White man going after one another – for any reason?
What if it was a Latino or Asian man – slapping a fellow Latino or Asian comedian?
Was Harvey Weinstein’s fall from grace a blow to males and females, the entertainment industry, and the White community?
What of Jeffery Epstein’s predatory conduct?
Prince Andrew’s?
Willard Carroll Smith II was wrong to slap Christopher Julius Rock. That was an assault, plain and simple.
As parents, we teach our children to “use their words” instead of their hands, i.e., to talk through their anger or frustrations instead of lashing out physically. CNN’s Sara Sidner said as much when discussing the event during the network’s morning show the day after the stunning display of unrestrained emotions by the popular actor.
I find it strange that some folks now find this universal message a function of race.
While I appreciate and understand Smith’s decision to “protect his woman,” I appreciate even more, that women, especially one of Jada Pinkett’s gravitas, can more than defend themselves against bullies – even those who present their harassment as “jokes.” Aside from the presumption – that women need “protection” – the place and timing of Smith’s decision to “protect his wife and family” was off by order of magnitude!
SIDE NOTE: I find it ironic that the same Jerome Adams now waxing eloquently about last Sunday’s “main event” and expressing “disappointment” at the Oscars was nowhere to be seen or heard when his boss was “punching down” at anyone who dared challenge him. Making fun of someone’s medical condition or handicap is the epitome of “punching down.” However, this gripe by Adams was curiously normalized during the 2015/6 campaign to replace Barack Obama. To wit, I spent an hour searching the internet for any mention of Jerome Adams expressing concern over the leader of the free world’s penchant for making fun at his demonstrably less powerful victims. I came up empty.
Notwithstanding, that Will Smith could not control his temper is NOT a reflection on me, a fellow Black man, albeit one from Kenya. Incidentally, the last qualifier is yet another layer to the incident and narrative: that it is an African Americanmale problem, not an African male problem. To be clear, I reject the attempted divide-and-conquer allusion the qualifier entails.
Smith’s lack of self-control is NOT an illustration of Adam’s “claim that Black men cannot control their emotions.”
It is a bridge too far to claim that the altercation between the two stars was evidence that Black men cannot “get along.”
Fact: The Black man that I am CAN control his temper and emotions.
Additionally, I fondly remember Victor Maxon (not his real name) from my early days in San Diego. This brotha was the paragon of camaraderie. He “got along” with everybody – across the racial and national divide. As the on-campus Resident Director, Vic’s comportment fully belied the claim that “black men cannot get along.”
Fact: I can write a book about the many black men I have met during my four-decade-long life in America who fully exemplify qualities Jerome Adams incorrectly claim they lack.
Along the same lines, Colin Kaepernick, who the US Today article calls out, protested injustice and violence against black men – without resorting to violence.
Former president Barack Obama was ridiculed for being “cool” and “aloof” – because of his preternatural self-control – in the face of abuse, bigotry, and dehumanization, not only directed at him, but direct at his wife and daughters, i.e., his family.
The proposition that Smith’s action “seemingly give the thumbs up to more violence” is ridiculous. The good doctor knows better. If Sara Sidner invoked the line “Use your words,” let me offer another universal parent-speak:
If your friends decided to jump off a cliff, would you follow them?
Tellingly, Adam’s piece also (seeks) to delink violence perpetrated by Black men in America from the violence that is endemic in the larger American society. By order of magnitude and thanks to the pervasiveness of guns, America is the most violent of all industrialized societies. I appreciate the importance of stratifying data to dig deeper into an issue, in this case violence. I also know the ease with which data can be tortured to form a narrative – something the article does.
Having said the above, let me point out that the same Chris Rock who ridiculed Jada’s bald head produced the 2009 documentary titled “Good Hair.”
Towards the end of the 90+minute documentary, one Sheila Bridges, an interior decorator, talks about her battle with the same condition Jada Pinkett-Smith suffers from – Alopecia. This is the condition that spawned Rock’s ill-timed GI Jane 2 “joke” that earned him the slap from Smith.
Admittedly, the so-called “teachable moment” Dr. Adams refers to has several layers. Unfortunately, the good doctor “punches down” by generalizing sections of his lessons. In so doing, Adams and Kareem both add to a narrative and talking point his former boss and his party have perfected over the years:
The deflection onto discussions about “Black-on-Black crime” whenever systemic violence and brutality is broached and the generalization that the wayward actions of one Black man reflect poorly on ALL Black men.